boargies

i want to talk about my teeth. i think that my... fangs? what are fangs called? incisors? well, both my upper and lower fangs feel like they are growing sharper. does this happen to humans? am i going to need to get some chew sticks before i look like a wild boar? they're rubbing on my lips and causing me to make funny faces (at least i think they're funny, i can't really see them) am i turning feral? am i a she-wolf? wtf? is this punishment for the very few bad things i've ever done? or better yet am i being rewarded for all the good things i've done with a nice set of pouty lips? i'd like that. really any kind of change would be nice. boarface, poutmouth, whatever. some new jeans. a change of scenery. waking up to discover i'm living a bohemian lifestyle. same as it ever was. i think i could be a gypsy if i was in good company. this idea appeals to me. i have an old accordion somewhere, i can take it around and play it... except i can't play it well because it's way too heavy. but i think people might pay to see the boar girl pout and play a shoddy death dirge on an accordion that's half as big as she is. OR i've been meaning to learn to play the saw. i could do that too. it doesn't really look that hard. maybe i'll take a nice strong lover and he can play the heavy accordion and i can sing and play the saw. we'll do it out of the back of our caravan (dodge) and we'll steal food from orchards, hustle people for cash and fuck under the stars. yes. i like this. breaking out of the middle class shell is a good thing. a girl's got to live a little. i read this thing about an asian philosophy of the genesis of the world, it was saying that before there was the universe there was darkness (foul and evil) and there was light (pure and good) and they were two separate things, but the violent powers of the darkness overwhelmed the light and a cosmic battle ensued. the universe is that battle. speckles of light in the darkness, a compound of wisdom and violence wherein each is vehemently fighting for victory. (perhaps this tension is what life springs from?) since man is a part of this universe he too is by nature a battle ground and can not truly be alive unless he roots himself in the struggle and is at times both good and evil. (okay, most of what i just wrote is plagiarism except the last part which is a total self serving misinterpretation. i am using this Zoraster principal to justify being a shitty person sometimes, despite the fact that i am well aware of how off base my version is. and guess what. suckas can't stop me. just know that i know this.) see, so if i don't do impulsive bad things sometimes i am ignoring the naturally dark half of the universe and consequently destroying the force of life by throwing off the balance. NAY i am insulting the very power that created me and placed me here to join the game, the shadow play between light and dark. gypsy life it is! i'm going to go start packing.