bummer

i decided i should try to start writing in this thing again. i've been so down in the dumps lately, i haven't been able to get myself excited enough to write about anything. if i force myself to sit down and write something it invariably turns into this collection of sadness. it's like one shitty thing after the next in my life and one shitty thing after the next on the page. makes sense. i wonder if that apocalypse i kept sensing was coming wasn't a personal one. (yes, a personal apocalypse. i said it and i mean it. i will not, however, write a song about it or anything like that, so fear not.) if it isn't this hardship or that tragedy or some other droll misery then i fell off my bike today and skinned my knee. the more i try to sweep the faster the dust reappears. i try to do little things to help myself make it through. i bought some new panties. i got 400 thread count sheets, that was a good one. i buy little bottles of perfume or funny nail polish. i think i'd be intensely drunk all the time if it weren't for those little treats. i really don't want to crawl into a bottle at this point in my life. i think it's very important that i don't, lest i wish to stay there. i'd really like to just snap out of it, but snap doesn't seem to be a possibility at the moment. i don't know what the answer is. i do know that this blog thing is turning out to be a real bummer. sorry about that if you're reading this. i guess i just don't have anyone to bitch to about this stuff in my real life world. everyone i know is too busy bitching and sulking to have the time to listen someone else for a second. that's my fault for keeping bad company. i don't blame them. i try not to anyway.
i don't really know what to say, so i'm just going to go. maybe i'll come back tomorrow and write about what exactly petroleum jelly is or why i think kindred spirits must share the same birthday, but for today i'm cutting it short and stupid.